You have just come out of a conversation that you had prepared for. You used the OIC format described in a previous blog and now it’s time to review how the conversation went with your plan. In this blog I will share the 6 steps to review an important conversation.
During your preparation you considered your desired outcome, your intention behind the outcome and the consequences of achieving your outcome. You considered any obstacles that may present themselves and how you would deal with them.
If you are on the journey to become a great communicator, then reviewing your performance is an integral part of learning and growing.
Here are the 6 steps to review an important conversation that you can use as a model for learning.
1. What Was My Intended Outcome?
Take a fresh look at your preparation and consider the outcome you decided was important. What did it look like, feel like and sound like? Review it in detail.
2. What Was My Actual Outcome?
Now is the time to consider what really happened during the conversation. Did you achieve what you set out to?
If the outcome was different to your original plan, what was it? Think clearly about what happened and the direction the conversation took.
Be clear in your mind what the new outcome looks like, feels like and sounds like. Are you happy with this? Is it congruent with your values?
Is it pleasurable, desirable and motivating in terms of you, the other person and the relationship?
3. What Caused The Outcome?
Whether you achieved the outcome or not, what were the critical factors that attributed to the result?
Here you might reflect on:
- How clear were you on your desired outcome?
- Did you communicate with clarity and in a dynamic way?
- How did you manage any perceived obstacles?
- How congruent were you during the conversation?
- Did you listen for different ways to achieve your outcome?
There can be many causes of conversations going or not going the way you expect them to go. Now is the time to reflect on this.
4. What Would You Do The Same?
Rather than pull yourself to pieces, consider all the things that you did well and would repeat. No matter how badly a conversation may go, you will have done some things well. As someone who is intent on being a better communicator, recognising the things you do well is as important as reviewing things that didn’t go as well as expected.
Take any positives into the next preparation for important conversations.
5. What Would You Do Differently Next Time?
Now is the time to consider what, if anything you would do differently in the next important conversation you have. Reflection is a great teacher. Use it to build your confidence and skill rather than tear yourself to shreds.
Take one major learning and see if you can find opportunities to improve on this. Make a plan for the times when you can practice with little or no pressure. New skills take time to improve on. Allow yourself the that time.
6. What Did You Learn From This Experience?
Reflect on your preparation, the conversation itself and consider the learning points. What will you continue to do and what will you endeavour to do differently next time?
In every experience we have there are things to learn. To learn it takes time to reflect, deconstruct and rebuild. Performance review is critical to success.
In the previous blog I gave you a model to prepare for important conversations. Here you have the 6 steps to review an important conversation. This plan can be utilised in situations other than conversations. Use to create your model for self improvement.
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